I
have always been a pacifist of sorts; believing in nonviolence. People
such as Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., and John Lennon
were heroes to me early on. The older I've gotten,
the more I realize how much violence is just accepted
in our world. Movies, music, books, television,
(especially the news) are filled with the violence of
people against people. It's difficult to
find even a children's program without some form of violence. Even
the games our children play are often full of violence. The
popular electronic games seem to pride themselves on
graphic scenes of death and killing. The
more advanced the technology, the more gruesome they
seem to get. Flying body parts and splattered
blood are now almost standard in so many games.
When
my children were growing up, I tried to pay attention
to what they watched and what they played. We talked
about the violence (and sexism) that is so dominate in
these games. No parent can isolate their
child against all the negative things in the world, no
matter how much we might like to, but at least we can
talk to our children about them. Trying
to keep the lines of communication open is one of the
hardest jobs a parent has during the teen years. One
way I managed to keep this link, especially with my son,
was to play the games with him. When he and his
friends began a Dungeons & Dragons group I joined
in. One of the reasons they accepted me into
the group was that I tried not to act the parent. I
listened. I also spoke my mind, and pointed out
things that I felt were wrong; but I listened to what
they had to say too. Even though my son and his
friends no longer play these games, I now play them on-line. I
find it allows me to explore creativity and interact
with other people in different ways then I do in the
'real world'.
I
was very involved in one on-line game for over three
years now and I was very well known in game. Actually,
I was a volunteer to greet new players who entered the
game and offer help with a bit of advice how to begin
the game. Everyone knew Kyia. Connected
to the game itself was a message board where people could
write stories and post them for others to read. The
Role Playing board usually had a group of people who
posted the stories by taking turns and talking about
what they are doing in reaction to the other postings
(like a Dungeons and Dragons campaign). I began
to write a story about Kyia and how she was trying to
destroy a very powerful weapon that many evil people
were trying to find so they might destroy the world of
Taera. In stories she had been involved in prior
there was alot of killing and fighting. She
was a healer but others in the group she traveled with
often used violence to achieve their goals. A
part of me was really unhappy that the people writing
this story with me so often would choose to use a sword
rather than try any other method. It seemed they
felt it was easier.
For
several months before this point there were many stories
of violence in the 'real world' and school shootings
(one of them only a few miles from where I work). The
news reports were more upsetting to me than anything
I had heard since the Vietnam war. Children
killing children! I thought about all the
violence that children are shown, day in and day out
and I wanted to make a statement. YOU CAN CHOOSE
ANOTHER WAY! However, any parent will tell you
that a teenager won't listen if it's put like that. Words
like that sound like a lecture, and besides, parents
just don't understand. They don't know what
it's like to be _____ (fill in the blank with "16", "nerdy", "unpopular", "fat", "under
so much pressure", "misunderstood", "outcast",
and a thousand more). And you know what? They're
right. I will never be a teenager in this
world we live in right now. But I can
try to tell them that they always have a choice. Violence,
in many ways, is the 'easy' choice. "Nothing
works, it doesn't matter anyway, so I'll lash out."
I
knew that many young people had been reading my story
on the Role Playing message board so decided perhaps
I could use that forum to try to show another option
in life. Kyia was facing extreme evil. She
had those who wished her harm looking for her and everyone
in her group. She knew that if she failed
in her quest that she and many innocent people would
die. You can't have a more stressful situation
than that. To add to that, in the story,
Kyia was expecting her first child and her parents were
in hiding for a different set of circumstances (role
playing can be very much like soap operas). Kyia
took refuge in a clinic which was run by followers of
Luumpho, who is the Goddess of Life and Healing in the
world of Taera. It is there that she takes
the vow of total nonviolence. She may never
harm, nor allow others to harm any living being. From
then on she would have to come up with other ways to
get things done. I wanted to show through
this story that the mind can do more than the fist. That
cleverness, understanding, compassion, intelligence and
humor are more fulfilling than violent reaction. And
that sometimes the very best thing to do is to walk away.
My
belief is that the world is what we make it. Each
of us has the responsibility to create as much positive
in this world as we can. If we don't show our children
alternatives to what they see in the movies, television,
and the games; how can we expect them to do anything
different? They need us to step up
and do more than bring home a paycheck or drive them
to school. They need us to listen, to hear,
and most of all to respect them as people. I
have learned that they won't really listen to
you unless you really listen to them first. You
might be surprised at what they have to say.
